


Daydream

by make_your_user_a_name



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Genie/Djinn, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Case Fic, Daydreaming, Djinni & Genies, Djinnverse (Supernatural), Domestic Fluff, First Kiss, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Suptober 2020 (Supernatural)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:40:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26844532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/make_your_user_a_name/pseuds/make_your_user_a_name
Summary: “I love you,” Cas whispered, tying his tie in the mirror.And Dean, still dazed, still asleep, still whirling in confusion, wanted to sob. Because if the djinn really wanted to get him, really wanted to drain his entire life away while he lived in a blissful reality, this was how to do it. But it was torture all the same. Because Cas, his Cas, would never.“You aren’t real,” he muttered.Cas turned back to him, a soft smile on his face. And it looked so real. It wasn’t like the smiles Lucifer had faked, all teeth and no eyes. It was small, the corners of his lips barely turned up and his eyes crinkled.“Do you care, Dean?” he said, his voice gravelly and his eyes intense as the smile faded.
Relationships: (mentioned) - Relationship, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Comments: 33
Kudos: 368





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> written for suptober20 
> 
> have some underdeveloped trash :)

It wasn’t like last time. Well, the confusion was. The shock of being in a new world, surrounded by people that knew him but he’d never laid eyes on; or even worse, being surrounded by people he knew, people he loved, that were all an illusion, a fever dream. 

But he didn’t think it was real this time. Not for a second. And Dean wanted to pretend it was because it had already happened, he knew what the poison felt like, he could fight it this time. But that wasn’t it. 

He knew it wasn’t real the second he woke up. Knew he’d been poisoned, he was lying in some warehouse somewhere, having the life drained from him. Because when he woke up, he wasn’t alone. Castiel was laying next to him. 

The angel, or probably human in this daydream, pressed a kiss softly against his lips before standing and getting dressed. 

“I love you,” Cas whispered, tying his tie in the mirror. 

And Dean, still dazed, still asleep, still whirling in confusion, wanted to sob. Because if the djinn really wanted to get him, really wanted to drain his entire life away while he lived in a blissful reality, this was how to do it. But it was torture all the same. Because Cas, his Cas, would never. 

“You aren’t real,” he muttered. 

Cas turned back to him, a soft smile on his face. And it looked so real. It wasn’t like the smiles Lucifer had faked, all teeth and no eyes. It was small, the corners of his lips barely turned up and his eyes crinkled.

“Do you care, Dean?” he said, his voice gravelly and his eyes intense as the smile faded.

Dean didn’t answer, just watched as Cas tilted his head. Eventually, Cas climbed back onto the bed, straddling Dean. He pressed a soft kiss against his lips, tracing his hands over his chest. And Dean couldn’t help it, he kissed back, tears just behind his eyes while pure joy battled for his attention. 

After a minute, Cas pushed off the bed and walked to the door. “I have to go to work. Why don’t you think about it? But, Dean,” he looked back with parted lips, “You could have it. Everything you always wanted. All of it.” 

Then Cas left the room, the latch clicking softly behind him. 

Dean’s head finally stopped spinning as he sat up. The taste of Cas was still on his lips and he fought to ignore it. This wasn’t real. He didn’t want this. Didn’t need this. He had to get out. 

He stood up, blushing when he noticed for the first time that he was naked, and walked around the room. There wasn’t much in the bedroom, just their clothes tucked in a little closet.

He ran his fingers absentmindedly over the line of suits in Cas’ closet before pulling on jeans and a flannel from his own. Then he left through the door after Cas. 

They were in an apartment, fairly small too. But it was perfect. Dean wouldn’t have wanted more space, and if he was being honest with himself, at least while no one else was here, as long as he was with Cas, he could have lived on the streets. 

He moved past the living room into the small kitchen, smiling in spite of himself when he saw a bright pink sticky note on the coffee maker. 

_You don’t have work today and I’m working a half day. I’ll be home at noon._

_I love you,_

_Cas_

He tried to ignore it. The warm glow that spread through him. The feeling like he was soaring, leaving this nonexistent world behind because _Cas_ was his. 

He swept the rest of the apartment. There weren’t any photos or anything, just bare walls. Again, it was just what he would have wanted. Damn, this djinn did a good job. 

The cupboards in the kitchen looked new and modern. He was guessing Cas had picked them out. 

_No,_ he immediately corrected. Cas hadn’t picked anything out. This wasn’t real. Cas wasn’t his, those lips kissing him hadn’t been his, the weight over him, so safe, so warm, hadn’t been real. 

He opened one of them up, taking deep breaths to push everything away, and his eyes widened. A large bag of salt, two handguns, a vile of what he could only assume was holy water, and even an angel blade sat innocently inside. 

With a sigh, he rubbed his eyes. 

So, what? He and Cas were semi-retired? Worked day jobs and killed monsters on the weekend? 

It didn’t exactly sound… bad. He poured himself a cup of coffee and saw a phone plugged in next to the machine. He lifted it and scrolled through a few notifications before unlocking it with his thumbprint. 

Not really sure why, but still confident, he went to his contacts and found Sam’s name. Then he called him. 

He answered almost immediately. 

“Dean? You okay?” 

He hesitated. It wasn’t like he had a good reason for calling. “Yeah, Sammy. I’m not working today,” he said. “I just wanted to check in.” 

He heard a sigh of relief on the other side. “Yeah, uh, good,” Sam cleared his throat. “Well, Eileen and I are chasing a vamp nest in Kansas. Not that far from you, actually. You’re welcome to join.” 

_Eileen_. So Sam was happy here too. Maybe he could just… Dean glanced at the clock. “Uh, Cas is gonna be home soon.” 

Even in this reality, even across the phone, he could hear the smirk in Sam’s voice. “Oh, well I’m sure you’ll be busy then.” 

“Shut up,” he said immediately, instinctively. 

“Thanks for calling man. We’ll stop by when we get this cleaned up, okay?” 

“Sounds good.” 

The line went dead and Dean hung his head. It was all too perfect. It fit too well, it didn’t feel real. 

_Cas’ lips felt real._

He silenced the voice and closed the contacts app. He went through the rest of his phone, trying to figure himself out. He was a mechanic, no surprise there. 

He scrolled through his text stream with Cas but almost immediately closed it. It felt too intimate, like he was spying, taking something that wasn’t his. He was reading old texts from Sam, most of them boring, when Cas got home. 

“Hello, Dean,” he said, sending shivers up Dean’s spine. 

“Hey, Cas.” His throat felt tight. Cas looked completely at ease, comfortable. 

Dean stood but didn’t walk to greet him. His heart yearned to, to wrap him in an embrace, to press his lips against his, whispering promises he couldn’t keep. 

But he didn’t. Instead he stood awkwardly, his eyes fixed on Cas. “How was work?” 

“Good. How are you, Dean?” 

He could hear it. The full meaning behind the question. He didn’t answer, just took a few steps toward Cas, some invisible string tugging him. 

“Are you an angel?” he blurted suddenly. 

Cas walked forward, closing the rest of the gap between them and taking Dean’s hands in his own. “Yes. I’m not human, but I barely have any grace left.” He pressed a kiss against Dean’s forehead and he felt his eyes close, leaning into the touch. “We’re happy, Dean.” 

Dean licked his lips, not pulling back, letting his thumb trace over and over Cas’ skin. It wasn’t real. But he could leave tomorrow. 

He reached a hand up for Cas’ face and cupped his cheek. Then he leaned in, pressing their lips together. Cas kissed back immediately, letting Dean’s hands fall and running them up his back into his hair. 

_It’s not real, it’s not real, it’s not real,_ his mind said. A constant loop, trying to pull him away from Cas. He wanted to say it out loud, to force himself to see it. Instead, he breathed softly, “Cas.” 

Cas pulled him closer, bringing their bodies flush, and Dean leaned into him. He felt so real. It was Cas’ hands on him, Cas’ quiet moans against his ear as he nuzzled into his neck, Cas’ steady warmth and weight. 

Dean was almost totally relaxed, completely at Cas’ mercy, when the door came crashing open. 

“Dean!” The voice was urgent, loud, and so familiar. He let himself stay in Cas’ arms, pressing himself into his chest, not bothering to look up at Sam. 

He heard his brother mutter, “Oh.” 

Cas held him, rubbing small circles on his back. 

“This-” Sam cleared his throat and Dean looked over at him, still tangled with Cas. “This isn’t real.” 

“I know, Sam.” 

“No, Dean,” he could see his brother’s frustration mounting. “You’re poisoned, a djinn got you. I killed it, but you didn’t wake up. You have to wake up.” 

Sam looked terrified. But Dean was in Cas’ arms, Dean was happy. He couldn’t leave now. 

“How’d you get here?” he murmured as Cas pressed a kiss into his hair. 

“Dean, please.” And he shouldn’t have looked in his brother’s eyes. He’d avoided them so far. But they were so wide and vulnerable, darting between Dean and Cas. He looked sad, and Dean wondered briefly why before he pushed off Cas a little. 

“I don’t wanna leave, Sammy,” he said quietly, immediately berating himself for the weakness. He sounded like a fucking child. 

“Dean. We need you.” Sam stepped forward, lifting his hands to show he was defenseless. “I do. Jack does. Cas, the real Cas, he needs you.” 

“Dean is happy here,” Cas said suddenly. And Dean wanted to step back into his arms, rest his head against his chest and let it all melt away. 

“It’s not real,” Sam repeated, his voice strained. 

Dean took one look back at Cas. Looked into his eyes, the way he stared at him, the unguarded trust. He wanted it. But he had a job to do. So he let go. The living room faded around him, Sam with it. The last thing he saw before everything went black was Cas, tears in his eyes as he reached for Dean. 

When he came to, he was lying on the floor of a dirty warehouse, tears he didn’t remember shedding streaking his face. 

Sam lifted him up, pulling him into a hug, and he let him. For just a minute. Then he stood, dusting himself off. “Let’s get going.” 

“What you saw in that dream world-”

“Shut the hell up.”

“Dean-”

“I mean it. I never want to hear another word about that place, okay?” 

Sam looked at him, his brows furrowed in concern, and Dean could tell he wasn’t going to let this one slide. “You could have that, you know.” 

Dean snorted and shoved past him toward the door. “I said shut the hell up.” 

He burst out into the bright sunlight, collapsing on the ground, leaning against the Impala. It hadn’t even lasted long. Why was he so upset? He’d been there for less than a day. 

He knew why though. He could never have that, could never have him. Waves washed over the hole in his heart that would never be filled. Pain, sadness, emptiness, they washed into it and then slipped away as the waves receded. 

It had been perfect. Maybe he could have even been happy. But it was just a dream. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay enough people on tumblr and here talked me into writing a second part... so here!

It had been a few weeks since the case. Sam hadn’t mentioned it once, true to his wishes, but he knew it couldn’t last long. Every time he and Cas were in a room together Sam looked at him with a soft glance that almost always turned pained. Sam’s words echoed in his head, _You could have that, you know._

He was wrong. The djinn had created a nearly perfect world, but it wasn’t possible. He couldn’t let it be possible. And it wasn’t even because he knew Cas didn’t feel the same, it was because he didn’t deserve that. Didn’t deserve to be happy. 

Cas’ voice replaced Sam’s in his head. _You don’t think you deserve to be saved,_ and he pushed it away. 

They were working. He needed to focus. 

He slid the book in front of him across the table to Sam and tapped on a section. “What about this? 

Sam looked over it, sliding his finger along the text and shrugged. “Could be,” he said thoughtfully, reading further down. “No. These only hunt on the Summer Solstice.” 

“Seriously?”

“Yeah.”

Dean let out a frustrated sigh and pulled the book back toward him. “Man, we been looking for this thing for days. It probably isn’t even our kind of thing.”

“I know. But we got no other leads, so,” Sam said with a shrug. 

Dean slammed his book shut, dust flying in the air. “Why don’t we go on a vacation or something?” 

Sam snorted. “A vacation?” 

“We always talk about it. Why don’t we just go for it?” 

Sam finally looked up from his book, running a hand through his hair. “We got a case.”

“So we call in Jodi and Donna. They’ve been looking for something anyway.” 

“Okay,” Sam said, confusion still painted across his face. “So, what you and I just-”

“And Cas,” Dean immediately interrupted. Inwardly, he cursed, but outwardly he held Sam’s gaze with what he hoped was a blank expression. Sam slowly raised one eyebrow, but it wasn’t snarky. It was full of pity. 

“One weekend, Sammy.”

Something on Sam’s face changed and Dean immediately regretted this. It was a stupid idea. Founded in a daydream he would never get. But now Sam had that look on his face he got when he was planning something, when he knew something Dean didn’t. 

“Fine. We’ll go on vacation, leave this hunt behind,” he paused, but he left something unspoken in the air. 

“What?”

“If,” Sam continued with a smirk, “You talk to Cas about the djinn world.” 

Dean’s eyes narrowed and he looked down at the table to harden his face before Sam could see his reaction. When he looked back up, Sam’s smirk had disappeared to be replaced with that stupid soft puppy dog look. “No.” 

“Dean-”

“Sam, I told you, okay? We aren’t talking about that ever again.” 

“Don’t you want that?” Sam said quietly. 

Dean could see himself in Cas’ arms again, his head pressed into his shoulder, firm arms holding him tightly. He could taste Cas’ lips against his own, could feel his steady weight and warmth, his scent filling his nose. He could see Sam’s eyes widen in understanding when he stepped into the room. 

“No,” he said finally. “He’s my best friend, man. The djinn got it wrong.” 

He knew Sam wouldn’t believe him. Knew that as much as he didn’t like talking about his emotions, his feelings, he wore them on his sleeve whether he wanted to or not. Sam had probably known about Cas for a long time. But this stupid dream, it gave him the opportunity to force a conversation. 

“You know it would be okay with me, right?”

“Yeah, well, there’s no “it,” okay? Please drop it,” Dean said, trying to control his voice, to not sound like he was begging. 

Sam just ignored him. “And I’d be okay if it wasn’t just Cas too.” 

Dean froze. This… they didn’t talk about this. They didn’t talk about the time Sam had come back to the motel early to find a man leaving. They didn’t talk about the boyfriend he’d had in high school that had lasted until John beat the shit out of both of them. They didn’t talk about it because it wasn’t a part of himself Dean wanted in the open. John was right. He was wrong, broken, useless. 

The silence that blanketed the room was heavy, suffocating, but Sam didn’t break it. He just kept looking at him, his eyes sincere but devoid of pity. Just ready to take whatever he said next and move on with it. And he was grateful for it. 

“Sam,” he started before stopping again. The silence had lifted and he could breath, could think. Then something inside him pushed him, decided to stop being a coward. “It wasn’t just Cas. For a long time. But now… it’s just him, Sam. He’s it for me.” The words caught in his throat, clawing their way past all his guilt, all his fear, all his years of self-hatred. But they made it out all the same. 

Sam smiled a little but dropped his eyes to the table to give Dean space. His eyes stayed down, and he left them there when he answered. Dean expected a speech. Countless empty words about acceptance and love and equality and support. But Sam just said two words. “Tell him.” 

Dean gulped and laughed bitterly. “Why? What’s the point?”

Sam finally raised his eyes and smiled gently into Dean’s veiled panic. “Just tell him. It’s time.”

Before Dean could answer, Cas entered the room and Dean closed his mouth firmly, blush spreading across his cheeks. 

Cas walked over to them and sat at the table, pulling up a book from the large stack in between them. 

“Have you figured out what we’re hunting?” he said, his eyes flicking between the two of them. If he picked up on the tension in the room, he didn’t say it. 

“Not yet,” Dean answered. His throat had gone dry and he gulped to fix it but that just sent him into a coughing fit. When he was done, Sam laughed and gestured to their closed books. 

“Dean actually wants to go on a vacation,” he said. Dean shot him a death glare, but he just shrugged. 

“Why?” 

Dean barked a short laugh. The answer was so purely, painfully Cas.

“For fun,” he said with a smile. He ignored Sam’s eye roll. So what if Cas made him smile? The angel didn’t feel the same and that was final. 

“Oh,” Cas said solemnly, nodding. “I assume we’ll give the case to some other hunters.” Sam nodded and Cas slid his book back toward the stack. 

“Where will we go?” 

“Well, nowhere until Dean helps me with something,” Sam said pointedly. 

“Helps you with what?” Cas said. And Dean wanted to bury his head in his hands, or better yet, sink underneath the floorboards to a world far away from this conversation. 

“There’s this case we were on a couple weeks ago,” Sam started, “I could really use his help remembering the details.” 

Dean rolled his eyes, trying to get rid of the panic crushing his chest. At least Sam was going to be smooth about this. 

“Why don’t you fill Cas in while I pack?” he said before standing. Dean watched him as he left. His hands had started to tremor a little, and he was sure his face was bright red. But at least Sam had given him the chance to say no. To fuck it all and live in misery for the rest of his life. 

_Yeah, that’s the way to go, Winchester,_ a voice in his head whispered. 

“What was the case?” Cas said innocently, his eyes crinkled with concern. 

“A djinn,” Dean said. Those two words, he could do those. He could tell Cas a little bit more, too. He didn’t have to tell him what he’d dreamed. “I got caught. Got put under the djinn’s poison, and Sam saved me.” 

“What did you see?” 

Great. Of course that was where Cas jumped. Maybe it was his conversation with Sam, the quiet acceptance that still beat quietly in the room, but he considered it. If it went terribly, he wouldn’t lose Cas. He knew that. No matter how much he’d fucked up before, the angel had stuck by his side. So he wouldn’t lose him. But he would make things different. 

“You,” he said before he could change his mind. 

Cas tilted his head and folded his hands on the table in front of him. “Me?” he asked slowly. 

“You,” Dean said with a gulp. He’d run out of words. 

Cas just stared at him, his face blank. But he could see behind Cas’ eyes, could see his wheels spinning, could feel him trying to understand, to read between the lines. 

“What about me?” he asked finally. 

Dean sought for the words to describe it. To tell Cas that they’d been happy. That they’d had everything. That they’d been everything to each other. But he couldn’t. 

After a minute of silence, Cas leaned forward. “Can I look?” he asked. 

Before Dean could back out--he was too far in--he nodded. Cas gently rested two fingers on his forehead, sending a shiver down his spine. And then the djinn world, hazy and dreamy, was playing again in his mind. He hadn’t been there long. Less than 24 hours. But even rewatching it play quickly before his eyes brought a small smile to his face. Brought the smell of Cas pressed closely to him back.

When Cas removed his fingers, he stood up and walked to stand next to where Dean stood. 

HIs heart was pounding in his chest, crawling up toward his throat. His body told him to run, to get far away while he was safe. But instead, he stood to meet Cas chest to chest. 

“Is that what you want?” 

Words spun rapidly in his head and he couldn’t grasp any of them, couldn’t string them together in a way that would tell Cas how badly he wanted it. So he just nodded again, waves of shame already crashing over him. 

Then Cas reached up and rested a hand on his face and ocean of guilt, of fear disappeared, fading away until it was just a dull presence in the back of his mind. He looked into Cas’ eyes, trying to read the softness there, but he got lost before he could. 

Without another word, Cas closed the gap between them. 

It was so much better than the daydream. So much better than a fake poison-induced existence. He felt like he was soaring, flying above the Earth and all it’s beauty. Cas tasted sweet against him, and the warmth radiating off him could have kept Dean warm in the middle of a snowstorm. 

He kissed softly, letting himself revel in every feeling, every emotion that overwhelmed him. 

When they pulled apart, he was still speechless. But this time it was because of the happiness filling his entire body. Cas pressed one more gentle kiss against his lips then pressed their foreheads together, his hand coming up to rest on the back of Dean’s neck. 

They stayed there, just breathing together. Then Cas smiled and ran a thumb over Dean’s lip. 

“We can have that.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> love y'all <3

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos can be v sexy tbh


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